Triangulation

A manipulation tactic where one person uses a third party to communicate with, control, or divide another person.

Triangulation creates artificial alliances and prevents direct conflict resolution. EIPs use this tactic to maintain control, avoid direct accountability, and keep family members distrustful of one another so that the EIP remains the center of power and attention.

Related Terms

enmeshment gaslighting

In Practice

"Instead of telling you she is mad at you, your mother calls your sister to complain about you, knowing your sister will confront you about it."

You might recognise this if...

You often hear about a parent's displeasure through a sibling or another relative.
You feel like you are in constant competition with a sibling for the parent's approval (Golden Child vs. Scapegoat).
Direct communication is rare in your family; everything is whispered behind closed doors.